You Report Back on How That Paint is Drying, I'll Just Be Here Watching the World Cup

How's that paint drying coming along? 

The 2014 World Cup has been going on for around three weeks now and I’ve already lost track of exactly how many times I’ve heard people say in many different ways that they find the sport to be boring or uninteresting. Not only that, but that can’t seem to understand how anybody else would find the sport either exciting or interesting.

I’m here to tell all of those people complaining about the World Cup with statements like “I’d rather watch paint dry” to shut up and go watch some paint dry.

Now, I’m not what you would call a soccer fan. It’s not something I’ve watched a whole lot in my life and I don’t particularly find it to be one of the more exciting sports, but I have enjoyed the little snippets of games that I’ve caught during this World Cup, particularly the penalty kick shootouts between Brazil and Chile and Costa Rica and Greece.

But, I can understand how soccer fans feel when they’re bothered with statements about how one of their favorite sports is boring, because like them I am a rather huge fan of other fringe sports like auto racing and golf.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to defend my fandom of both auto racing and golf from people who either didn’t understand it or, in most cases, never wanted to. I find that most people who claim they don’t like a sport or that it’s boring have never actually taken the time to watch the sport. This is obviously ignorant, but ignorance has never stopped anybody from running their mouths off whenever they see fit.

Basically what it boils down to is that people should just let other people enjoy whatever sports they enjoy. Why do you feel the need to try to convince us that soccer or auto racing or golf or anything else is boring? We’re not going around trying to make you feel bad about yourself or stupid because the only sport you seem to see fit for watching is American football.

So, you think soccer is boring? That’s fine. You have the right to that opinion, but spouting it every two seconds during the World Cup is a nuisance and doesn’t do anything more than make you look like an idiotic fool. You may get away with that in the good old US of A, but take a little trip to Brazil or Germany or England or practically anywhere else in the world and tell ‘em that. Then make sure you have a nice pair of sunglasses to hide that black eye they’re going to give ya.  

Auto Racing Should Be An Olympic Sport (Just Imagine Jimmie Johnson, Dario Franchitti, Sebastien Vettel & Travis Pastrana All in One Race)

I know this is a pipe dream and something that will never happen, but I think auto racing should be an Olympic sport. 

Just imagine NASCAR champ Jimmie Johnson (left) & IndyCar champ Dario Franchitti (right) racing for gold.

Think about it, auto racing is something that is done everywhere in the world and has successful and world champion drivers from a large group of countries. I know that this certainly doesn’t mean a sport will be an Olympics sport, just look at baseball and golf (which will be an Olympic sport starting in 2016).

However, how cool would it be to see the best drivers from around the world, stars of NASCAR, IndyCar, Formula 1 and others, competing in one big race or tournament of races to crown the top driver in the world?

There actually used to be a series similar to that called the IROC (International Race of Champions) Series from 1974 to 2006 where champion drivers from a multitude of series would compete in a four race series to determine a champion. It was mostly dominated by NASCAR drivers on mostly NASCAR tracks, with NASCAR stars (like Dale Earnhardt, Mark Martin and Tony Stewart) winning every year from 1989 until the series folded in 2006, but other racing stars like Mario Andretti, A.J. Foyt and Al Unser Jr. were crowned champions, as well. The series went out of business in 2007 due to financial problems.

While the IROC Series was mostly run on ovals, a potential Olympic event (again this is just a dream) would most likely have to be run on a road course or street circuit because most series around the world are exclusively run on those types of tracks.  

The series would also have to choose what type of car would be used in the event. My suggestion would be to use something like the Daytona Prototypes used in the Rolex Grand Am Series, because most drivers from around the world are already familiar with these cars from running in a race like the 24 Hours of Daytona (which often brings in big names from top series like NASCAR and IndyCar).

The format for auto racing in the Olympics is really something that I haven’t put a whole lot of thought into, but could easily be anything from just one big race with a qualifying process of either fastest laps or heat races or could be a series of races. The number of racers per race or the length of the race is also something that I haven’t put any thought into. As long as auto racing was involved in the Olympics I honestly wouldn’t care so much about many of the particulars.  

I have, however, compiled a list of 50 world class drivers from 19 different countries as proof of why auto racing in the Olympics would be such a great idea. Can you imagine some of these guys going up against each other for the gold?

1.       Fernando Alonso (Spain) – Formula 1 – 2x Formula 1 Champion, 30 wins

2.       Marcos Ambrose (Australia) – NASCAR - 1 Sprint Cup Series win, 2X V8 Supercar Champion

3.       Max Angelelli (Italy) – Grand Am – 1x Grand Am Champion, 17 wins

4.       Joao Barbosa (Portugal) – Grand Am – 2010 24 Hours of Daytona Champion, 3 Grand Am DP wins

5.       Rubens Barrichello (Brazil) – IndyCar – 11 Formula 1 wins, 1^st driver to have 300 starts in F1 history

6.       Sebastien Bourdais (France) – IndyCar – 4x Champ Car Champion, 31 Champ Car wins

7.       Ryan Briscoe (Australia) – IndyCar – 6 IndyCar wins, 3 American Le Mans Series wins

8.       Kyle Busch (United States) – NASCAR – 24 NASCAR Sprint Cup wins, 105 total NASCAR wins, 1x Nationwide Series champion

9.       Jenson Button (England) – Formula 1 – 1x Formula 1 champion, 13 Formula 1 wins

10.   Helio Castroneves (Brazil) – IndyCar – 3x Indianapolis 500 champion, 21 IndyCar wins

11.   Mike Conway (England) – IndyCar – 1 IndyCar win, 1x British F3 Champion

12.   Ryan Dalziel (Scotland) – Grand Am – 1X 24 Hours or Le Mans winner, 3 Grand Am wins

13.   Simona de Silvestro (Switzerland) – IndyCar – 5 Atlantic Championship wins

14.   Scott Dixon (New Zealand) – IndyCar – 2x IndyCar Champion, 29 IndyCar wins, 1x Indianapolis 500 winner

15.   Ron Fellows (Canada) – NASCAR – 3X 24 Hours of Le Mans class winner, 6 total NASCAR wins

16.   Dario Franchitti (Scotland) – IndyCar – 4X IndyCar Champion, 3X Indianapolis 500 winner, 20 IndyCar wins

17.   Jeff Gordon (United States) – NASCAR – 4X NASCAR Sprint Cup Series Champion, 86 Sprint Cup wins (3^rd all time)

18.   Lewis Hamilton (England) – Formula 1 – 1X Formula 1 Champion, 19 Formula 1 wins

19.   James Hinchcliffe (Canada) – IndyCar – 2011 IndyCar Rookie of the Year, 8 IndyCar Top 5s

20.   Ryan Hunter-Reay (United States) – IndyCar – 6 IndyCar wins, Currently 2^nd in IndyCar Points

21.   Jimmie Johnson (United States) – NASCAR – 5x NASCAR Sprint Cup Champion, 58 Sprint Cup wins

22.   Tony Kanaan (Brazil) – IndyCar – 1x IndyCar Champion, 14 IndyCar wins

23.   Matt Kenseth (United States) – NASCAR – 1X NASCAR Sprint Cup Champion, 22 Sprint Cup wins

24.   Steve Kinser (United States) – World of Outlaws – 20X World of Outlaws Champion, 555 World of Outlaw wins

25.   Tom Kristensen (Denmark) - Deutsche Tourenwagen Masters – 8x 24 Hours of Le Mans winner (most all-time)

26.   Andy Lally (United States) – Grand Am – 2x Grand Am class champion, 3X 24 Hours of Daytona class winner

27.   Sebastien Loeb (France) – World Rally – 8x World Rally Champion, 73 Rally wins

28.   Andre Lotterer (Germany) – FIA World Endurance – 2x 24 Hours of Le Mans winner

29.   Jan Magnussen (Denmark) – Le Mans – 4x 24 Hours of Le Mans winner

30.   Allan McNish (Scotland) - FIA World Endurance – 2x 24 Hours of Le Mans winner

31.   Juan Pablo Montoya (Colombia) – NASCAR – 1x Indianapolis 500 winners, 7 Formula 1 wins, 2 NASCAR Sprint Cup Series wins

32.   Simon Pagenaud (France) – IndyCar – 1x American Le Mans Series Champion, 5 IndyCar top 5s (this season as a rookie)

33.    Miguel Paludo (Brazil) – NASCAR – 2x Porsche GT3 Cup Brasil Champion, 10 NASCAR Camping World Truck Series top 10s

34.   Max Papis (Italy) – NASCAR – 3 Champ Car wins

35.   Travis Pastrana (United States) – Rally Car/NASCAR – 4x Rally America Champion, 10X X Games gold medalist

36.   Nelson Piquet Jr. (Brazil) – NASCAR – 1 NASCAR Nationwide Series win, 20 NASCAR Camping World Truck Series Top 10s

37.   Will Power (Australia) – IndyCar – 16 IndyCar wins

38.   Scott Pruett (United States) – Grand Am – 3x Grand Am Champion, 4x 24 Hours of Daytona winner

39.   Kimi Raikkonen (Finland) – Formula 1 – 1x Formula 1 Champion, 18 Formula 1 wins

40.   Memo Rojas (Mexico) – Grand Am – 3X Grand Am Champion, 21 Grand Am wins

41.   Takuma Sato (Japan) – IndyCar – 6 Formula 1 top 5s, 5 IndyCar top 5s

42.   Michael Schumacher (Germany) – Formula 1 – 7x Formula 1 Champion, 91 Formula 1 wins

43.   Oriol Servia (Spain) – IndyCar – 1 Champ Car win, 17 IndyCar top 5s

44.   Tony Stewart (United States) – NASCAR – 3x NASCAR Sprint Cup Champion, 1x IndyCar Champion, 47 NASCAR Sprint Cup wins

45.   Alex Tagliani (Canada) – IndyCar – 1 Champ Car win, 6 IndyCar top 5s

46.   Paul Tracy (Canada) – Grand Am – 1x Champ Car Champion, 12 Champ Car wins

47.   Sebastien Vettel (Germany) – Formula 1 – 2x Formula 1 Champion, 22 Formula 1 wins

48.   E.J. Viso (Venezuela) – IndyCar – 3 IndyCar top 5s, 1x National Class British F3 Champion

49.   Mark Webber (Australia) – Formula 1 – 9 Formula 1 wins

50.   Justin Wilson (England) – IndyCar – 3 IndyCar wins, 4 Champ Car wins,

Brickyard Owes Montoya One

Juan Pablo Montoya: Racecar Driver. If there’s ever a biography written about current NASCAR Sprint Cup Series driver Juan Pablo Montoya than that should be its name. I have the utmost respect for Montoya because he’s proven throughout his illustrious career that he can drive and win in anything he pleases. He’s a true racecar driver. Give him something with wheels and a motor and he’ll kick your ass.

Montoya has won in many major forms of auto racing. In his one and only Indianapolis 500 in 2000, he won. He was a champion in the CART Series. He was a champion in the Formula 1 Series. He’s won the Rolex 24 @ Daytona twice in the Grand-Am Series. He’s also won twice in NASCAR’s top series, which is the most popular motorsports series in the United States.

Not only is Montoya a fantastic wheelman, but he also has that true racer persona, like many greats that came before him. He’s going to do whatever it takes to succeed and win, even if that means knocking another out of his way. Some people just can’t stand Montoya because of his driving style, which many wrongfully call “reckless”, because he’s relentless when racing their favorite drivers. Fellow Sprint Cup racer Kyle Busch is “reckless”, he loves to win, but he also loves playing the heel. This bad guy act that he loves so much leads him to want to do reckless things. Montoya loves to win, but he doesn’t give a damn what you think about him. He’s not intentionally trying to ruin your day (unless he thinks you deserve it); he’s just trying to make the most out of his.

That’s why I like Juan Pablo Montoya. Now, here’s why I really want to see him in Victory Lane on Sunday after the Brickyard 400 at the famed Indianapolis Motor Speedway.

Sometimes in racing a track just owes you one.

Despite Dale Earnhardt winning at Daytona more than any driver that ever competed there he never had a Daytona 500 win prior to 1998. The track owed him one. He finally got it. Like Earnhardt, Tony Stewart has won in almost everything at Daytona, but not the Daytona 500. Daytona owes it to him.

Montoya, as previously mentioned, has won at Indianapolis in his truly dominating Indy 500 victory. However, the Brickyard, desperately owes him one. 

Despite winning at both of the Sprint Cup Series road course races (Watkins Glen and Sonoma) in his career, Montoya has yet to win on a NASCAR oval track (in this his sixth full season), However, Indianapolis, has arguably been his best track in the sport. He’s never had the finishes at the track that he’s truly deserved (other than a second place finish in his rookie season of 2007) with an average finish of only 22.4 at the track, but as far as I’m concerned Montoya should’ve won the Brickyard 400 twice by now.

In 2009, Montoya had likely his finest performance in his NASCAR career, thus far, when he thoroughly dominated the race. Not only did he kick the rest of the field’s asses, he also kicked the track’s ass. The Colombian native led a race high 116 of 160 laps and he was going to lead a lot more. Nobody could beat Montoya that day, except for depending on how you saw it: himself or NASCAR. On a late pit stop Montoya was penalized for speeding on pit road. Montoya was adamant that he didn’t speed, as all drivers always are. However, I actually believed him then and still believe him today. I know he still believes himself today, too. The penalty caused him to fall back in the running order and he drove his ass off to one of the most dominant 11^th place finishes in NASCAR history and by far the most dominant I’ve ever seen. Jimmie Johnson would win the race.

The next season, in 2010, it looked like Montoya was going to put that misfortune to rest with another dominant performance. Again it looked like he couldn’t be beaten. Unfortunately this time his crew chief Brian Pattie didn’t do him any favors. After leading 86 of 160 laps, again a race best, Montoya made a late pit stop in which Pattie called for four tires. Many other drivers took two tires instead and this placed Montoya in the middle of the pack where he would get caught up in a wreck and finish 32^nd. His Earnhardt Ganassi Racing teammate Jamie McMurray would go on to win the race.

Two years in a row Juan Pablo Montoya had both the competition and the track licked. He had nothing to show for it.  

Last season Montoya started toward the front, but didn’t have a good race finishing in the 28^th position. Even though it’s arguably his best track in the sport, his only top 10 finish was his second place as a rookie.

Montoya is frankly struggling pretty badly this season. In 19 races he only has a measly two Top 10s and his average finish is 20^th. His year started with him crashing into a jet dryer at Daytona in maybe the oddest accident in NASCAR history and it hasn’t gotten much better from there.

However, as we embark on the Brickyard this weekend I just know that Montoya’s going to dig down deep and find a little something extra that he hasn’t had all season. It just remains to be seen if he has a capable car underneath him.    

Yes, this magnificent two and a half mile cathedral of racing with its famed yard of bricks owes Montoya one. It owes him big. Hopefully it pays out on Sunday afternoon; I know Montoya’s damn sure going to do his best to collect.

  

Double Duty at Indy, Charlotte Should Be Back in Play

Tony Stewart scored top 10s in both races in 1999.

This upcoming Sunday is my favorite sports day of the year with the Indianapolis 500 in the afternoon and the Coca Cola 600 (NASCAR’s longest race) in the evening. That’s 1,100 miles of great racing action in one day. 

It wasn’t all that long ago when drivers could attempt both races in the same day and the likes of Tony Stewart, Robby Gordon and John Andretti did. The most spectacular result was win Tony Stewart scored top 10 finishes in both races in 1999 (meaning he completed all 1,100 miles).   

However, a few years ago the Indy 500 pushed back its start time to where it would pretty much be impossible to run the Indy 500 in Indianapolis, Ind. and then get in a helicopter or plane and fly to Charlotte, N.C. in time for the NASCAR Sprint Cup race. 

Since then people have been talking about how great it would be to see drivers compete in both races on the same day again and how the Indy 500 should move ahead the race in order to entice drivers to do so. 

There are many drivers in both sports with seat time in both IndyCar and NASCAR: Stewart, Robby Gordon, Andretti, Juan Pablo Montoya, Danica Patrick, Sam Hornish Jr. and Dario Franchitti among the notables. Seeing one or more of those big names try the double duty would be well worth getting up a little bit earlier for the Indy 500. 

Hopefully sometime in the near future we’ll have the opportunity and pleasure of seeing the double duty at Indy and Charlotte completed again. 

20 Unwritten Sports Rules That Should Not Be Broken (4 That I Don't Mind Seeing Broken)

Unwritten rules basically have to do with playing the game with good sportsmanship.

1. Don’t bunt to break up a no-hitter or a perfect game. (Baseball)

About 10 years ago San Diego Padres catcher Ben Davis successfully bunted for a single to break up a no-hitter by Curt Schilling. A while back Tampa Bay Rays third baseman Evan Longoria tried the same thing during Dallas Braden’s perfect game and thankfully was unsuccessful.

2. Don’t run up the score if you’re leading by a lot. (All sports)

The most notorious team that I’ve ever seen do this was the New England Patriots. Win a game with humility.


3. Don’t onside kick while leading. (Football)

The only time I ever remember seeing this was when I attended my first UCA Bears football game and Coach Clint Conque had the Bears onside kick at the end of a game with a huge lead. One of the Bears starting players actually got injured on the play. I always thought it kind of served Conque right for doing such an unsportsmanlike thing.

4. Don’t shoot at your own basket to get a record.

Ricky Davis did this many years ago against the Utah Jazz to record a rebound for a triple-double. (Basketball)

5. Don’t intentionally foul at the end of the game to keep another team from shooting a three to tie or win. (Basketball)

Some coaches do it and other coaches refuse to do it. I admire those coaches that refuse to do it. I’ve said multiple times I’d rather get beat than foul in that situation.


6. Don’t celebrate when losing. (All sports)

Nothing looks dumber than when a linebacker celebrates a sack down by 14 or a NBA player celebrates a dunk down by 20 or when a pitcher celebrates a strikeout down five. If I were a coach I’d fine and sit any player celebrating while losing.

7. Don’t celebrate an empty net goal (Hockey)

8. Don’t give an athlete a record they don’t deserve. (All sports)

The only time I’ve ever seen this was when Green Bay Packers quarterback Brett Favre laid down to give Giants defensive end Michael Strahan the NFL’s single-season sack record. Make the guy earn the record.

9. Don’t shoot the ball as time expires when leading (Basketball)

Lakers guard Sasha Vujacic notoriously did this two years ago in the NBA playoffs against the San Antonio Spurs.

10. Don’t shoot 3-pointers when you’re up 10+ with less than a minute to play (Basketball)

Kobe Bryant (twice; made one) and Derek Fisher both shot 3-pointers against the Celtics during game one of the 2010 NBA Finals with an insurmountable lead with under a minute to play.

11. Don’t foul on defense when losing by more than 10+ with less than a minute remaining. (Basketball)

Too many NBA and college basketball teams do this and it’s always for naught. All it does is prolong your loss.

12. Don’t run a play when you can run the clock out. (Football)

13. Don’t show up a pitcher by admiring a home run. (Baseball)

I swear if you do you’ll get a fastball in the back.

14. Don’t show up a batter by celebrating a strikeout. (Baseball)

Yankees pitcher Joba Chamberlain, Cubs pitcher Carlos Zambrano and a few others are notoriously bad about this.

15. Don’t steal a base when you’re up by 5+ runs late in a game (Baseball)

Rickey Henderson did this about 10 years ago against the Milwaukee Brewers and Brewers manager Davey Lopes wanted his head for it.

16. Don’t yell at infielders on the basepaths while their trying to make a play. (Baseball)

Alex Rodriguez juvenilely did this a season or two ago while running out a pop out against the Toronto Blue Jays.

17. If you’re a lapped car, don’t race a lead lap car hard late in a race (Auto Racing)

18. Don’t try to plant seeds with referees, umpires or officials to try to get favorable calls. (All sports)

Lakers coach Phil Jackson did this on three different occasions in the 2010 NBA playoffs alone.

19. Don’t lean into a pitch intentionally to get a hit by pitch. (Baseball)

20. Don’t swing at the first pitch following back to back home runs (baseball)



Four Unwritten Rules I Don't Mind Seeing Broken:


1. Icing the kicker (Football)

To me kicking a game-winning field goal is one of the most mental things in all of sports. Might as well try to get in the kicker's head.

2. Mocking a pitcher/batter who previously mocked (Baseball)

Aubrey Huff mocked Joba Chamberlain two years ago when he hit a home run off of him, because Chamberlain previously did it to him; just a little bit of his own medicine.

3. Never steal another team’s signs (Baseball)

If you can do it, do it.

4. “attacking” while an opponent has a mechanical problem (Cycling)

This came into play during this year's Tour de France when Alberto Contador went on the offensive when his nearest competitor had a mechanical issue with his bike.